04.20.06

“God sent the IEDs”

Posted in Politics at 8:11 pm by Administrator

Protestors at a soldiers funeral

This phenomenon of protestors gathering at the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq is somewhat interesting. They call themselves the Westboro Baptist Church and from what I gather, their logic goes something like this: The soldiers are fighting for America. America has lots of homosexuals. Therefore, the soldiers deserve to die and it is cause for celebration when they do.

I realize that in any large group there are going to be a few crazies, but these people make PETA activists seem sane. It’s amusing to note that this group has managed to align itself with the extreme left, the extreme right, and the muslim terrorists all at once. (I wonder which side is paying to fly them all over the country.)

Out of regard for the soldiers’ families, several legislators have drafted bills in an attempt to keep the protestors away from the funerals. If the legislature would like to do something about this, I propose a different solution: the reinstitution of Code duello

It would work something like this: At the next funeral when one of these misfits shouts an insult, the procession would halt while a family member of the deceased issues the shouter a formal challenge. The individual would then have the opportunity to accept the challenge or be forced to leave in shame. This type of person rarely has any individual courage (Why do you think they huddle in groups?), so this strategy would be effective at keeping most of them away.

In the unlikely event that the challenge is accepted, the duel would commence immediately. Paramedics would be summoned and the honor guards would retrieve a purposely kept set of antique dueling pistols from their car. The traditional procedure would be followed and shots would be exchanged. Once blood is drawn, the wound would be treated and the matter would be considered to have been resolved with honor.

The beauty of this system is that these people are unlikely by nature to be good shots. Being a good shot requires a certain mental discipline and coolness that “God sent the IEDs” types obviously lack.

dueling pistols

Just a suggestion.

2 Comments »

  1. capitalist_pig said,

    April 20, 2006 at 10:56 pm

    I challenge you to a duel.

  2. capitalist_pig said,

    April 20, 2006 at 10:58 pm

    On a serious note, however…why wait to challenge them to duel? Why not just pick ‘em off now. Just a suggestion.

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